exobubz (exobubz) wrote,


Title: Magnaphallophobia
Pairing: Chanyeol/Baekhyun
Rating: Pg13 (sexual refs)
Sypnosis: Chanyeol was supposed to be a 6. Instead, he was an 8.
Warnings: Bad jokes and usage of UPS lingo
A/n: Short 3k drabble :C I got this idea this morning idk lol. I wrote it loosely so not too much attention to grammar... Mmmmm Magnaphallophobia = Big-penis-phobia from what google tells me. Not an actual word, just added the magna part. Anyways enjoy... Sorry for typos/ ew formatting grammar wise lol

Physically, there was nothing wrong with Baekhyun. Every morning he woke up, happy and chirp, then mindlessly ate his breakfast while texting “Good Morning!” to his very tall and lovable boyfriend. He worked out about three times a week, so he knew that he could do a hundred squats and run a mile under five minutes.

Mentally, he was smart despite the stigma that someone with his looks couldn’t possibly be smart at the same time as if that was some give or take quality. In fact, he was even the president of the math club during high school.

Psychologically, everything was in order as well! Except his tiny phobia for things that were considered somewhat…large.



Chanyeol was pretty much perfect in Baekhyun’s eyes. There wasn’t anything to deny that the man had it all. Financially stable (that was important), tall (fuck yes), handsome (was he even real?), funny (Baekhyun loved his humor), and intellectual (cross-word night was always fun).

Baekhyun could recall the first time they met as if it was just yesterday and not seven months prior. Like the maniac that he was, Baekhyun liked books, but he loved coffee even more, so he worked as a part-time coffee shop owner and part-time bookstore owner. In other words, he was busy.

The first time he met Chanyeol was when the man walked in Byun’s World of Written Word looking for a gift for his niece. Baekhyun, in awe of the man, helped him find the perfect picture books and easy reading material. At the end of their time together, Chanyeol asked for his name, and since Baekhyun saw no ring on Chanyeol’s finger, the brunette gave it so easily.

Chanyeol, however, didn’t return back to the store, and although Baekhyun was disappointed, he didn’t have too much hope for it anyways. So, he moved on.

A few weeks later, as he was managing his tiny coffee shop one day, Chanyeol walked in again, but this time, in a new setting. Surprised, Chanyeol raised his brows and said, “Baekhyun?”

The frills and internal explosion of fireworks happened as Baekhyun smiled at the fact that his name was remembered. As coolly as he could, he said, “Oh, hi! I remember you…Chanyeol, right?”

Of course it was Chanyeol. Baekhyun never forgot it, but he had to keep face.

After serving Chanyeol his double shot of expresso, Baekhyun began to prepare himself for another let down. Perhaps, he thought then, maybe he should forget about his little crush on the customer who he'd only seen two times. It was pointless, in all honesty, but just as Baekhyun was about to say good-bye, Chanyeol stopped just before reaching the door and walked back to the counter.

There were people in the shop since Baekhyun was locally popular, so in respect to that, Chanyeol kept his voice relatively low. “So, um…”

“Yes?” Baekhyun said, trying not to grin too widely.

“This may come out a little awkward, but can I have your number this time?”

“Oh, like a business number?” Baekhyun replied.

“That’s not exactly—”

Before Chanyeol could finish, Baekhyun reached to his right and took a business card and pen lying near the cash register. After scribbling on the card for a while, he handed it to his handsome customer. “I circled the store’s number, but on the back is the number you should call for when you need something after shop hours. In other words, my number.”

Catching the drift, Chanyeol smirked at him, almost biting the edge of his bottom lip to contain himself. “Alright. I’ll ring you up, then.”

“It’s only the nice thing to do, but you don’t have to,” Baekhyun said, playing about as he shrugged. “But it’d be nice.”

“Dinner would be nice, too,” Chanyeol added.

“I like to eat to eat dinner at seven,” Baekhyun told him.

“That’s funny, because I like eating dinner at seven, too.”

“Cool. I like to eat steak.”

“Nice. I know a great place that serves the best steak in the city.”

“That’s awesome.”

“I’ll pick you up Saturday, then,” Chanyeol smoothly announced.

“Call me so you’ll know where to pick me up,” Baekhyun responded.

“I was planning on it.” After their back and forth conversation of sarcasm, Chanyeol gave him one last look before taking his leave.

Neither of them had noticed the forming line and people watching in amusement.



Chanyeol’s taste in food was just as unsophisticated as Baekhyun’s. The steak he promised that Saturday was as great as he had told the small brunette, but there was something about Baekhyun’s face that told him that he wasn’t satisfied entirely just yet. So when they both finished eating and paid, instead of taking Baekhyun back to his apartment, Chanyeol took a turn to a street with multiple vendors and curious tourists.

“I don’t know if you’re on a diet, because you look like you could be one of those people, but if so, this is going to be your cheat day.”

“Why diet when there’s food…” Baekhyun said to himself, anticipating all the glory of fried meat.

His response made him golden, and, obviously, Chanyeol knew he was a keeper.



As it turned out, Chanyeol worked as a real estate agent—a high paying one, apparently. It kind of explained the nice car and the nice condo when he asked Baekhyun if he could grab him a few things from his place one morning while he was at work and the brunette had nothing else better to do.

It also explained the man’s epic skill of persuasion. In fact, a month into their dating life, Baekhyun put up a new item on the menu based on Chanyeol’s suggestion. As soon as he did so, the new drink became popular and bragging rights were given to the giant.

And with bookstore, Chanyeol suggested a sale that would give buyers some discount if they spent a certain amount, and as far as he was concerned, Baekhyun’s bookstore business seemed to fair greatly to his suggestions as well.

Since he did it all free of charge, he only requested a kiss or two for his efforts. In response to that, Baekhyun did give him a kiss, but not two. Two, as he said, was “too much”.

Chanyeol disagreed, appealed, and won.

Persuasion at its best is what Baekhyun thought.



There was nothing really wrong with their relationship. Seven months in and still no sex, but it didn’t matter for either of them. In fact, Baekhyun didn’t mind. He was sure that when the time was right, his lovely boyfriend would show him how small he was.

Small, yes. Baekhyun preferred them small. Ever since he was traumatized from being forced to watch monster cocks rip butts apart in porn by his obnoxious friends back in college, he swore that some things were just never meant to fit anywhere.

“If it fits, it ships,” said a tv commercial. Baekhyun laughed. No, it doesn’t—at least not to him.

With all his mental calculations, he figured that Chanyeol would be up in the high sixes, and maybe low seven—a very low seven. However, he didn’t really know, not even as he was showering and fixing himself up pretty for a date that evening.

Nothing about his preference meant anything was wrong with him. Perhaps, in a minor sense, he had big-dick-a-phobia, scientifically called Magnaphallophobia—the big dick fear. But, psychologically, that was the only thing about him that ticked.

With Chanyeol and all the predictions Baekhyun already made, the brunette wasn’t too worried.



Having sex required a mood, and even though the two of them weren’t aiming for “the mood” that night, it just happened when they went back to Chanyeol’s condo, had a little drink while watching late night reruns of past beauty pageants, and started making out after Baekhyun made an off-handed comment about Miss Korea’s boobs, which must’ve set something off because the next thing he knew, Chanyeol’s lips were on him, his legs were wrapped around the giant’s waist, and he was being carried into the bedroom.

Six inches, six inches… The words kept repeating in his mind as he enthusiastically indulged in Chanyeol’s lips all over his neck.

When Chanyeol tossed the brunette on the bed, he immediately started unbuttoning his dress shirt and unbuckling the belt around his waist. Baekhyun giggled as he did the same, but with less urgency as he did so teasingly.

Just as he was slipping out of his pants and tossing his shirt aside, Chanyeol was back on him, naked, hot, and…

Baekhyun froze as he felt something off his calculations against his inner thighs. In fact, he was so distracted that Chanyeol had to stop sucking on the brunette’s shoulders to lift his head up and ask, “What’s wrong?”

Heat rose to Baekhyun’s face and the next thing he knew, he was incoherently whispering, “You were supposed to be… You were… You…”

For reasons beyond him, Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol away despite how rude, heartbreaking, and embarrassing that was. It wasn’t the first time he ran out after finding out his partner had a large cock, but it was the first time he did so feeling like total shit afterwards.

He quickly put on his clothes, and in the mix of the confusion, Chanyeol scrambled to put on his underwear so he could follow his small boyfriend as he tried to leave the condo.

“Will you please tell me what the hell’s wrong!?” he yelled when Baekhyun reached the front door. “Did I hurt you? If I did, I’m sorry if I was too rough, but will you just—”

“It’s not you, it’s me,” Baekhyun generically said in a wobbly voice as his hand trembled on the door knob. “Sorry.”

Then, he left. Chanyeol couldn’t pursue after him, at least not half naked, and by the time he put on enough clothes to run outside his complex, Baekhyun had already hailed a cab and left.



“You fucking walked out!?”

“I didn’t know what to do!”

“You should’ve bucked the fuck up and fucked him!”

Baekhyun gasped. “Kyungsoo! I don’t appreciate your language! Especially in the store!”

Usually, it was odd for an employee to act in such a way to their boss, but Kyungsoo knew the latter way before his business ventures so he felt like he had special privileges. “No one’s in here yet, so shut up.”

Sitting on the register counter, Baekhyun crossed his arms and pouted as he watched Kyungsoo restock books in the non-fiction area. “You should’ve seen him. He wasn’t just an eight, he was fat, too… Well, not fat, just full and meaty, and… he was an eight. An eight, Kyungsoo! An eight! A high eight, for that matter!”

“Baekhyun, do you know how many people would fucking kill for a guy who’s smart, funny, stable, tall, handsome, and packing?”

“I do, but he’s mine and I love him, but it’s just that—”

“His dick is more than your butt can handle.”

“I wouldn’t put it that way…” Baekhyun mumbled.

Shaking his head as he clenched an encyclopedia, Kyungsoo disgruntledly sighed. “You’re ruining a perfectly good relationship because you have a fear of a man’s large dick up your ass.”

“Correction, I have a fear of a man’s large dick,” the brunette said. “Magnaphallophobia!”

“Still not worth losing him, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo replied, leaving Baekhyun to pout in silence some more.

After a while of staring at the floor with his eyebrows drawn together as he began to think about what to do, Kyungsoo pulled his attention again when he said, “We have an early bird customer.”

Raising his head, Baekhyun was quick to jump off the counter so that he wouldn't be seen as a lazy store keeper, but when he saw who it was beyond the glass door, he panicked. “Uhhh…I…I have to check some stocks in the back room.”

“Are you fucking—Open the door, Baek!”

“No!” the brunette said as he ignored the fact that Chanyeol could obviously see him through the door since the entire store front was made of glass. “Don’t let him in.”

“If you won’t, then I will,” Kyungsoo stated, getting up from the ground and walking to the door. “The best way to cure your fear is to face it!”

“I’ll face it someday!” Baekhyun yelled from the back room.

“Today’s the day!”

Just as he reached to unlock the door, Kyungsoo heard Baekhyun’s shrill scream in the back and boxes tumbling over. However, the store assistant didn’t care to give too much attention to his boss’ clumsiness.

“Hi, Chanyeol,” he greeted almost sarcastically as he stepped aside and let the disheveled and frustrated man in. “You’re looking pretty awful today.”

“Did he go in the back room?”

“He sure did.”

In amusement, Kyungsoo watched as Chanyeol walked in a beeline to the back storage room. He expected Baekhyun to scream in terror or at least make some sort of noise, but when minutes went by with only Chanyeol’s voice calling the brunette’s name, Kyungsoo frowned—until he heard a knocking at the front door behind him.

Jaw-dropped, he saw as Baekhyun stuck his head in the store. “Get him out of here, Kyungsoo! Please? Please? Please?”

“What the fuck are you doing in here, Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo said loudly with a straight face.

With an angry expression on his face, Baekhyun pursed his lips. “I hate you a lot,” he said before slipping out and running around the corner, back to the back entrance of the store where he came from.

A moment later, Chanyeol emerged from the back room with his hand running through his hair. To Kyungsoo, it looked like he hadn’t slept at all. “Was he in here?”

“Mmm, I think, but I’m not so sure anymore. It’s still too early in the morning for me,” Kyungsoo replied, shrugging. Motioning to a ready chair, he said, “Sit down.”

Complying, Chanyeol dropped down in one of the seats, covering his face with his arm as he sighed. “God damn it…”

“Do you need coffee or anything?” Kyungsoo asked. “There’s a coffee shop around here. It’s kind of lame and I don’t like it, but if you like things that are overly priced and disgusting, then I can go make a run for you.”

“It’s fine…I just…” Chanyeol paused before he set his arm down. For the first time, Kyungsoo could clearly see the other’s eyes, blood shot and slightly teary. He almost wanted to kill Baekhyun with his own bare hands for making someone like Chanyeol so frustrated that he was actually on the brink of crying. “I want to know what the hell I did wrong last night.”

“Oh, you did nothing wrong,” Kyungsoo said, butting into business that didn’t need him. “Baekhyun has his own problems.”


He knew that he was dabbing into business he didn't have the right to dabble in, but Kyungsoo didn’t care. “Yeah, he’s been having issues lately.”

Chanyeol looked at him for a while before cautiously asking, “What kind of issues?”

“He’s…He’s been wanting to break up with you for a while,” Kyungsoo told him in a dramatic way. Any sane man would’ve been able to tell that he was sputtering bullshit, but Chanyeol wasn’t sane. He was a sleep deprived, heartbroken man, perfect for manipulation.


“Yeah,” Kyungsoo said slowly. “He couldn’t get himself to sleep with you because he’s in love with another g—”

“What!? No, I’m not!”

The second Kyungsoo heard his boss’ voice, he closed his eyes and smiled. “Ah, time for overpriced coffee.”

He spotted daggers being thrown his way when he met Baekhyun’s eyes, but Kyungsoo only smiled. Baekhyun fumed with embarrassment as he watched his employee walk away, but he blushed even redder as he turned his head and saw Chanyeol getting up from his seat and start walking in his direction.

“I wasn’t thinking about breaking up with you!” he said, almost stuttering with his words as Chanyeol closed the distance. “And I’m not in love with someone else. Kyungsoo was just being a bully, you know. Please believe me… It’s really not that.”

“Then what is it?” Chanyeol asked softly, and Baekhyun could tell he was tired. When he stopped in front of his small boyfriend, Chanyeol’s lips drew into a thin line. “Why’d you run out yesterday? What’d I do wrong?”

Sad and growing upset from the guilt that washed over him again, Baekhyun hung his head. “It’s not you…It’s really not. I just have this thing and I’m a prick about it, Yeol. I’m sorry—”

“Look at me, Baek.”

There it was again. The skill of persuasion.

Looking up, Baekhyun met Chanyeol’s gaze and felt even worse. “Did you even sleep last night at all…”

“Barely,” Chanyeol answered, raising a hand to bush his thumb softly across Baekhyun’s cheek. “Not with how we left it.”

“I’m sorry…I just have magnaphallophobia.”


“I call it the fear of big dicks—if that’s easier to understand.”

Chanyeol stopped moving and drew away. “I’m sorry, but…you’re…”

“Yes—that thing,” Baekhyun mumbled. “I thought you’d be like a six, but you’re…you’re an eight—oh, no. You have that look on your face. Maybe it’s time for you to leave for now, Yeol, okay?” he said, putting his hands on Chanyeol’s torso, pushing slightly so that he could herd the man out the store.

However, Chanyeol stood still, grabbing the smaller’s hands. “I didn’t call in sick for work and come all this way for you to push me out again.”

“But you look really confused! We can talk about this another time, you know.”

“I want to talk about it now,” Chanyeol argued. “Here. Tell me what the hell this magnaphallophobia or whatever this is. The fear of large penises? Alright, so what? What does that mean?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are we done now? Is this some sort of deal breaker for you?” Chanyeol asked in a rough voice. “We can’t have a relationship now or what? Tell me.”

“No, no, no,” Baekhyun said desperately as he took hold of Chanyeol’s shirt. “Not like that. It doesn’t have to be like that, Yeol. I told you it really has nothing to do with you, so don’t think like that, okay?”

“Then what? What’re we going to do?”

“I don’t know…”

Frustrated, Chanyeol grabbed a hold of his hair and paused for a while before letting go. “I’m not breaking up with you.” When Baekhyun said nothing, Chanyeol went on, jaws locked. “And you’re not breaking up with me over this small issue.”

“It’s not small,” Baekhyun whispered.

Laughing almost bitterly at the ironic things, Chanyeol shook his head as he cocked his view of the brunette. “So, is that it? This phobia of yours. Is that all I need to know or do you have anything else you want to tell me about?”


Chanyeol gave him a look.

“I’m kidding.” Smiling cautiously, Baekhyun shrugged. “That’s it, really…”

“Okay, then, we can work on it.”

Pursing his lips, Baekhyun quirked his brows. “How exactly will we—”

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol cut. “Practicing is all I can think of right now. I just—argh. I just don’t want this to be the reason why you and I can’t be together. Not that I have a problem with being celibate for you, but, I mean, sex with you would be nice.”

“Yeah…That’d be cool.”

“But only if you’re ready.”


“I’m not rushing you, okay. Don’t mistake that.”

Baekhyun smiled. “I won’t.” Standing on his toes, he gave the man a quick kiss on the edge of his lips. “Again, I’m sorry.”

Finally breaking into a small grin, Chanyeol leaned down and kissed the brunette again. “It’s fine. I’m just glad it wasn’t anything serious,” he said, pulling Baekhyun in closer up against him.

Staying still for a while, Baekhyun leaned into the giant’s hold. “This is beside the point, but you seem really tired…”

“I woke up early because I thought you’d be at the coffee shop. I couldn’t think clearly enough to remember that you’d be here at the bookstore today.”

“Do you want me to make you anything?”

“No…I’m okay.”

“You want me to take you home?”

It took a moment, but Chanyeol nodded. “Please.”

And so, Baekhyun took him home. Apparently, to Baekhyun’s convenience, Kyungsoo hadn’t gone anywhere at all. He was standing at the edge of the street with his back against the building wall muttering “Thank fucking god” when he saw the two exit.

Just before Baekhyun followed Chanyeol into a cab, he threw Kyungsoo a glare, to which the assistant shrugged off and proceeded to open the store up for business.



Gradually, they did work at it, and it was much to both of their pleasures.

As Chanyeol found out, Baekhyun wasn’t inexperienced with touching a man’s shaft . Not that he wasn’t feeling jealous, but it was safe to say that Baekhyun knew his way to making a guy orgasm.

Eventually, Chanyeol fit himself in between Baekhyun’s legs. It was more than they'd ever thought it’d be like, especially for Baekhyun who wasn’t used to having a partner with a cock long enough to rub against his prostate just by being fully inside. It usually took some work, but Chanyeol was touching it without even moving.

That night was the night Baekhyun believed that, maybe, if it fits, then it does ship.

Tags: chanbaek, drabble, oneshot, will it fit
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