exobubz (exobubz) wrote,

NI: Easy Parenting

Not Intended au drabble: Easy Parenting
Warning; mpreg
Word: 1635
Summary: Baekhyun thinks everything would be easier if...


What is it?

Haneul's almost out of diapers. I'm going to take him and the car.

Okay... Hold on. Let me finish this and I'll help you with buckling him in the back—

No, no. It's alright. I know how to do it.


Just one arm at a time, I know.

Do you know what to do with the seatbelt?

Yeah, yeah. You showed me—anyways, I'm gonna go. I need to stop by the grocery store, too. Soo needs some things.

Alright... Do you need money?

Do I ever need money?

If you didn't, I wouldn't be working anymore.

Don't mock me, you giant ass twat. You work for fun, which is gross.

Whatever. Come here.


Good-bye kiss.

You're so disgusting. Who needs a hug every time their fiancé leaves...

I do.


You taste sweet. Did you eat something sugary before you came in here?

A brownie, maybe.

A brownie.

Yeah—Are you going to let me go or—

Do you ever wonder?

Wonder what? I really have to—

If you're up for more kids.

OH—Uh, no. No more kids, please. Not now, ever—well, yet, but still, Yeol.

Why not?

The store's going to close and I'm going to turn 100 if you keep talking to me—and stop swinging me around.

Tell me why, idiot.

You're the idiot, you over grown—


I can't even take care of one, okay? Plus, I'm still working on exercising the fat off. You know, after you give birth, you face the guilt of eating as much as you did during your pregnancy, I tell you.

Baekhyun, you're doing fine—and you look fine to me.

Oh, how stereotypical of you to say. Any man would say that—in fact, they're all obligated to say that.

I didn't say it out of obligation, you little—

Whatever you say, sir. I'll just take the keys and make my way to the store. I'll see you in a bit—actually, no. I'll see you in a while because I think I'm going to stop by the bookstore also after I hit the grocery store.

Fine... Just letting you know that I'm up to pop more kids out with you.

Excuse you, sir, but I do all the popping around here!

Yes, I know, now get out of here before we slip up and get you pregnant again.

I would cry, sir, so excuse you and your staff. My baby factory is closed at the moment—just like the store if I don't hurry up. Bye.

Be careful!

When am I not?

Baekhyun, don't get me started on this right now—

Love you! Kind of.





Ugh—Kyungsoo, help me with these bags!

Okay, but—what! What's wrong with Haneul?

I forgot—I forgot his bottles. Hungry—ah, crap, I have to run.

Baekhyun, you're carrying him on your front! Don't run so recklessly.

I have to get the baby bottle! Feed the baby, Soo! I have to feed him.

Okay, but, argh. Please don't tell me you drove carrying Haneul in front of you.

I had a good reason—


I drove really slowly, okay! He just wouldn't—I felt bad! Leaving him in the back like that just crying!

But still! It would've been safer for him to be in the back! You know this!

I know! I know! I wasn't thinking, as per usual, but I mean—ugh, here it is.

Baekhyun, just...Okay, just don't do that again.

I won't—oh! But don't tell Chanyeol, okay?

Tell me what?

This is my signal to leave.

What—Soo, come back—

I'm going to leave your bags here on the counter and... Bye. I'll cook dinner at 6.


What were you talking about, Baek?

Hold on...

Why's Haneul crying—wait, are you just feeding him now?

Yeah, Yeol. What does it look like?

Baekhyun, it's 4:15 and you're only feeding him? You left 2 hours ago!

I'm sorry, okay? I forgot to take his things, that I—hold on. Can you take him?


Okay, now can you—



You were carrying him on you just now.

Yes, why?

Did you drive home like that?

Like what?

With him on your chest.

What? Like this?


No... I didn't.

Are you lying to me?

Would I?

Baekhyun, just answer me. This is about Haneul.

Yeah, but you're not going to like what I have to say, so I want to spare you the time it'll take for you to yell at me!

You did, didn't you?



I wasn't thinking!

Exactly! You weren't! What if you got in an accident? What would've happened to him?

I was driving really slowly, Yeol!

Slowly in your white Jaguar sports car is not SLOW—

I took the house SUV...

Still, what did I tell you? Put him in his seat in the back!

Yeol, he was crying! I couldn't—

You should have!

I know that, but I couldn't just—Yeol, I had to comfort him! He was—

Baekhyun, after all this time, are you seriously this clueless still!? I've told you a million times and we've gone over this another million times! How much more times do we have to keep going over this?




What do you mean none?

None as in we can stop, okay? I get it already. You don't have to say anymore.

Wait—what're you doing?

Taking this stupid thing off. And here, another bottle for later...

Where are you going, Baekhyun?



I'm going to go take the rest of the things out of the car—and then I'm going to take Nugget for a walk—

Are you really—

So I can leave Haneul in much more capable hands than mine.


And you still wonder why I told you this is why I don't want any more. I can't handle one, even if I tried.

Baekhyun, listen. What you did was horribly wrong—

I know that!

And you know that Haneul's safety is important to me.


But... Damn it, we're first time parents! Your mistake is terrifying and you better not do that again! But hell, you're not....You're not horrible as a parent. You're fine.

No, I'm not, Yeol. Stop saying that I am. Haneul's 3 months and what've I done right so far? Nothing. Just...

Just what?

Don't you sometimes think that… Don't you sometimes think that it would be easier if I wasn't...

If you weren't WHAT, Baek? And I swear to god that if you say that sentence—

If I wasn't Haneul's mom... What if you had him with someone else? Don't you wonder if it'd be easier than having to raise him with someone like me?

Are you fucking with me?

In all honesty! If I was someone else, someone more motherly or naturely nurturing, don't you think that kind of person would suit you better?

Is that what you think?

I just... Maybe life would be easier if I was someone else, or if you fell in love with someone more capable.

Stop talking right now, Baekhyun. Shut up.

Shut up? Yeol, I'm merely stating what—

I don't give a shit, get rid of those thoughts! If I wanted something easy, I wouldn't have fallen in love with you, because, honey, only a mad man would want you. Lucky for you, I'm one. Second thing, if I wanted to have a kid with someone who I knew would make it easy on me, I would've. 24 years of being me and yet I waited until you. I could've started a family with anyone in this world but of all the people I chose you to start it with.

But I'm useless!

You are not useless! Baekhyun, who the hell wakes up every hour in the fucking morning to check on our son? Who looks after him when I'm working? You! So why don't you stab me in the chest first before you come at me with this bullshit talk about how easier it'd be if I was just with somebody else. If I haven't made it clear yet in the last two years that we've been together, I love you despite all your stupid mistakes, and you're the only one I would ever, for the fucking life of me, do this entire parenting thing with.

But... But I—

No buts, Baekhyun.

Yeol, I... I could've hurt Haneul, though. I was panicked and I couldn't—

I know, I know. And I'm angry at that, but let's just... Let's make sure to never repeat that mistake ever again, alright.


This time, always in the backseat no matter what.


And no more of that stupid talk. You make it sound like you'd actually leave me.

It's not a far-fetched option...

Don't make me mad, Baek.

I wouldn't want you that way. You're scary when you're mad.

So, then stop talking about leaving me.


Cause you know what'll happen right?


You'll break my heart—and Haneul's, too.


You wouldn't want that, right?


Good. Now, come here. There. Kiss on the forehead, now stop crying. I don't need a crying son and wife.

We... We're not even married yet.

We should change that soon, then.


Just after we get a few more of these little things out, don't you think?

No! No, I told you—I...


I'll...think about it. But definitely not before the wedding. The photos need to look good.

You'll always look perfect to me no matter what you decide to wear. Why does it matter?

It matters because the camera adds 10 pounds, you idiotic father of my only child...so far.

So far.

Yes, so far.

Thank you, honey.

You won't be thanking me when I'm fat and cranky again...loser.

Tags: chanbaek, drabble, mpreg, not intended: easy parenting, oneshot
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