A Whole New *Werld
[ AUDIO ]
Today, dad took me to the cum-cummunitity center? He said we needed to put me in puppy kindergarten because I needed to learn things so I could be a better puppy for tomorrow. He also said that if I make friends, then that’ll make tall man happy. But dad, I don’t care about tall man’s happiness. His happiness is not my happiness…His sadness is my happiness. I don’t want tall man happy. That’s not it all!
Anyways, we went inside and it seemed like me! Except, I’ve never been there so how else could it smell like me? I don’t understand. But dad went and he talked to this lady. She was kind of nice, but then she tried to touch—she TRIED TO TOUCH ME! Hm. I don’t let people other except dad touch my belly. I mean, flower boy touches my belly too, but he doesn’t have permission! That’s a...a...a violation of my puppy rights, passed by the congo-ress in nineteen feefty.
After she was done talking to my dad, I decided I didn’t like her. She was looking at my dad like tall man looks at him. I mean, I don’t like tall man, but if he was there, I would have been okay. I don’t like the woman. She seems…she seems thirsty.
Lulu taught me the word thirsty. It’s when the hose outside the house needs water so that it’ll water the plants, right? I think that’s it. I saw it in my picture books. I saw a hose.
Anyways, in the puppy room there were other dogs. I’ve never seen another one of my kind before! PB is Lulu’s doggy, but he’s a bully. He calls me fat and he steals my food. He says I don’t need any more good and sometimes that makes me sad because I love the food dad makes. Dad make’s the best food, so I don’t know why sometimes tall man will punish him in the kitchen late at night. One time, I walked in and dad was leaning against the counter wearing his pretty apron, and tall man was behind him. He looked like he was hugging dad, but dad was crying. I didn’t understand! What—what was he doing to dad!?
I was going to bite tall man, but dad told me to go back to my room. I really wanted to help dad, but…but dad always told me to be a good boy so I left him…//sniff//
A-Anyways, I met the other dogs. They were so mean to me. They were like “hi, I heard your name was nugget” and that was so creepy, you don’t understand! They were like do you want to play, and I got scared because every time tall man asked dad if he wanted to play, dad always ended up limping or crying.
So I was like no, no, I don’t want to. I wanted dad to pick me up but that darn lady! She told dad I was a shy dog! I am not shy, woman! I am scared! I am scared and I want to go home!
We didn’t stay there for long—thank Jesus! But dad had me stay there for a few hours. He didn’t come back so I cried the entire time in my cage—they kept me in a cage because they’re barbaric. Dad came around finally and he got me out of there.
We had to sit on a bench and wait for tall man, ugh. Some old people decided to pet me and they were nice even though they smelled like death. Then these people came around and started harassing dad, but dad didn’t look like he liked it even though he was smiling. Dad, why’re you sad?
I didn’t understand. They were talking to him the way tall man talked to dad, but dad, well, he wasn’t happy.
After a while, tall man came around and I had to get into his car, which was dumb because no one helped me up on the seat. Ugh. I am prince. Dad said so. If I'm a prince, why do I have to climb up on my own and why isn’t tall man helping me up.
I’m nugget and I ask the real questions.