Rating: M / Nc17
Pairings: Chanbaek (main), Hunhan, Kaisoo, Taoris
For two years, Baekhyun had been silently admiring and crushing on Oh Sehun, who he knows is kind and caring even though his cold stature says otherwise. One day, he takes a leap of faith. He writes a love letter and slips it into what he thinks is Oh Sehun's locker.
MUST READ. IMPORTANT
This story contains noncon, dubcon, violence/abuse, and drugs. This was written with the naive mind of my 16 year old self. In manga, relationships with possessive doms/semes was always something I found attractive. At times, overpossessiveness and jealousy was something I was interested it. NOW OLDER, I know that romanticizing abusive relationships (like excessively possessive/demanding/controlling) is something that is very dangerous in real life and causes many men and women to have trauma (sometimes die).
This is fiction, but be careful when reading that you do not romanticize what you read in fiction and project it onto real life issues. Looking back at this story, I realize my mistakes and I do have regrets writing certain things. At the time, I did not know that this story would become one of the "must reads" in the Chanbaek fandom. This story will remain up for as long as LJ exists, but the most I can do without removing this story is warn you all and slap your hand before you get on this rollercoaster ride.
With this being said, if anything makes you uncomfortable, SCROLL PAST IT OR SKIP THE CHAPTER. I can assure you, you will not miss anything that won't be mentioned in pieces in the next few chapters.
Thank you and happy shipping!
Taking the Initiative
There’s been an issue that Baekhyun’s been contemplating for a bit of a while. A confession. His eyes drifted over to the kid a few rows ahead of him, sitting near the windows: Oh Sehun. He admired him for a while, twiddling with his fingers. Then he snapped out of it when he remembered how he needed to keep up with the lesson and take as much notes as he could if he wanted to stay on top of the rank chart. Even though the majority of his mind was focused on the teacher, part of his mind was still filled with Sehun.
Everything went back two years ago, early in the year. It was raining and Baekhyun had arrived late to school that day. No one was in the cubby area. Baekhyun was trying to hurry because he didn’t want to miss anything important in that period. In his hurry, he became clumsy. The water caused his feet to slip from right under him. His bag slipped itself off his shoulders and emptied half of his belongings on the damp floor, getting his notebooks somewhat wet.
Cursing, Baekhyun hurried to save his materials from further damage, forgetting about himself. His jeans were getting soaked in the knees, but Baekhyun didn’t care at the moment. He just needed his materials and to change into his school shoes. Then, he’d be off to class and face another bump in the road: his teacher. But, he’d get to that later.
Unexpectedly, a hand came down and helped Baekhyun pick up the scattered belongings. When offered one of his notebooks back, Baekhyun took it subconsciously, then realizing that there was a person there with him, he looked up.
The boy towering over him had brown hair with side swept bangs. His face was expressionless. Baekhyun realized he was staring for a bit too long and began to put his things back in his bag. When he was done, he started to come off the floor. The boy took Baekhyun’s arm and helped him up.
“Thanks,” Baekhyun said, giving the boy a smile.
The boy stared at him a few seconds in silent before answering. “No problem.”
Then, without another word, the boy stuffed his hands in his pockets, turned and walked away, leaving Baekhyun alone. It took a while for Baekhyun to snap out of it and remembered that he was late for class! It was the beginning of a new year, too! He needed to make a good impression on his teachers and coming in for class late wasn’t going to do it.
Baekhyun stumbled in class, prepared for a bombardment of humiliating jokes and lecture points from the teacher. Luckily for him, the teacher just let it slip by. He took a seat in the middle of the room, being surrounded by eyes that were glued on him, the late student.
Later, Baekhyun discovered that the boy he met early that morning was named Oh Sehun. Surprisingly, Sehun was in the same class. He came in thirty minutes after Baekhyun joined the class. This puzzled Baekhyun a bit, remembering how Sehun had left first, but Baekhyun ended up not dwelling on the strange fact for too long. He also wondered how he’d never seen him before and as to why the teacher didn’t bitch at him for being absent for most of the year’s beginning so far.
Ever since that day, Baekhyun had been secretly admiring Oh Sehun. Since then, Sehun had gone from brown to the entire spectrum in terms of hair color. Right now, Sehun was blonde, which Baekhyun thought looked nice on him, as did every hair color and hair style.
Baekhyun noticed Sehun everywhere. To him, he stuck out like a sore thumb. He observed him and created an image of Sehun that he began to feel comfort in. To him, Sehun was kind. In all the years, Sehun had never pushed, bullied, yelled, or cursed anything or anyone. Sehun had an expressionless face for the most part, which would’ve classified him as “cold” by other students, but deep inside, Baekhyun felt like that wasn’t the case at all.
Everything about Sehun was genuinely perfect, except for his friends, which baffled Baekhyun. They weren’t the type of friends who he’d figure Sehun would ever hang out with. Chanyeol was a big loud mouth, which was full of his parents’ overflowing income of money. His nickname was “The Happy Virus” but there was nothing contagious about him and his annoyingness. Kai’s wallet was as big as Chanyeol’s. Somewhat like him, Kai was known for being an asshole. Both were notorious for parties and hookups.
There was Kris—aka the “Dragon.” Personally, Baekhyun thought it was stupid title name. Supposedly Kris was involved in some sort of gang-related mischief, but that was only a rumour, probably sparked from the school he transferred from, which he supposedly got expelled from for releasing his band of troublemakers on a student thought to be from a rival gang. But this story had a lot of “supposedly” in it so Baekhyun knew he was too smart to believe that bull.
Despite Sehun’s odd choice of friends, Baekhyun still admired him for some reason. He just had this aura to him, according to Baek. It took a while for Baekhyun to realize that he had a crush on Sehun.
Now, Baekhyun still couldn’t rid of his feelings for the boy. Back then, he was sure that this small crush would go away, but after the years went by, it still hadn’t and it frustrated Baekhyun. The only way he knew how to release his own self of these untold feelings was to confess. Confess in person or confess in another way? That was one of the questions on Baekhyun’s mind. The bigger question was should he even confess or should he not? They were graduating anyways. He’ll probably never see Sehun again. The second choice seemed like the safest choice, but Baekhyun would risk having yet another frustrating year. So he had to choose. Confession? No confession? Have a frustrating year pining for someone from afar? Or maybe—just maybe—be with that person because you took the chance and they said yes?
Sitting at his desk, Baekhyun took the last bit of notes that he had to do before setting his pencil down. In that moment, Baekhyun came to an answer: he was going to do it. But, that didn’t mean that Baekhyun was going to do it in person. He was going to write a letter. Baekhyun knew he’d have to do this soon or else he’d back out and cower again.
That night, Baekhyun stayed up til midnight writing that love letter/confession. He finished his homework at around ten, so that meant that took two hours writing that letter trying to make it perfect. It wasn’t only time that he wasted. He wasted paper. A bunch of them scrunched and crumpled, thrown on the floor.
When Baekhyun was satisfied, he smiled and found an envelope to put the letter in. And then, he stamped it with one of the stamps at his desk: a happy sun. Baekhyun went to bed that night excited, yet antsy. He’d have to get to school super early if he wanted to stick that letter in Sehun’s locker without anyone catching him.
And that is exactly what Baekhyun did. He woke up extra early that morning. His parents weren’t even awake yet. He took his premade lunch out of the fridge and wrote a note to his parents how he had to “attend an early school council meeting” that morning.
At school, Baekhyun stood in front of Sehun’s locker. Every locker at school was identical, but for sure, this was Sehun’s locker. He’d seen Sehun use this locker in the course of the year multiple times. There was no doubt in Baekhyun’s mind. And in that assurance, Baekhyun slipped the letter in.
Chanyeol fumbled with putting his combinations because of his droopy eyes. Once he got it open, he turned to Sehun. “Hey. Do you need my locker to hide your you-know-what again or?”
Sehun shook his head. “No. I’m not in the mood for it today.”
Kai wrapped an arm around Sehun, laughing. “That’s it, Sehun. Lay off that stuff! They say it’s bad for you.”
“Fuck off, Kai,” Sehun replied, rolling his eyes. “I don’t need advice from someone who needs to attend Alcoholics Anonymous.”
While the two continued to playfully bicker, Chanyeol turned back to his locker. Almost immediately, he noticed a beige envelope. He took it out and examined it. “Oh, what do I have here?” Chanyeol laughed. He flipped the envelope over and back.
“It’s a confession letter,” Kris said as he walked over, joining his friends.
“Hey,” Kai greeted.
Sehun stared at the envelope and scoffed. “A confession from a girl too scared to confess in person. That’s what that is.”
“Aish, harsh,” Chanyeol said, laughing.
“Well what does it say?” Kai asked.
“Does it matter?” Sehun replied. “This girl probably just wants a taste of your dick anyways,” he added, yawning. “Such a bore.”
Chanyeol turned around while he began to open the letter. “Probably!” he said. Then he started reading. “I’m not going to say no if she does…want….my dick…”
“What’s wrong, Yeol?” Kai called. “Was it a confession from a guy?” He laughed while Kris scrunched his face.
Chanyeol began to fold the letter back into the envelope and stuff it in his front pocket. “Nothing. Nothing. Just the usual. Another day, another girl that wants the D.”