Baekhyun found out a long time ago that no matter how drunk he got, he'd always remember ninety percent of the events that happened. It was helpful, but on the flip side, it upset him. There were things he wanted to forget and things he didn't want to remember, but he didn't really have a choice.
His memory was solid.
It was nearly six forty-five in the morning and he couldn't find it in him to drift back to sleep, despite how enticing it was with the feel of Chanyeol's arms around him. For a few fleeting minutes, Baekhyun listened to the gentle breathing beside him as well as the faint ocean sounds from outside.
During this, thoughts fluttered through his mind— most of which involved Chanyeol. It hadn't been until recently that Baekhyun began to seriously think about putting off his show and confessing who he really was to the giant. Despite his lack of experience in genuine relationships, Baekhyun knew that honesty was always the most important thing in a relationship, and he didn't think it was fair to keep Chanyeol in the dark. Baekhyun was well aware that it was wrong to hide the fact that he was already engaged to another person while dating Chanyeol.
The more he thought about his situation, the more Baekhyun realized that reality had caught up to him. He had left home and his previous life to rid himself of everything that has ever kept him from doing what he wanted, but in the present moment, he realized that he wasn’t completely free. Any man would be angry to find out that their boyfriend was already engaged. Chanyeol was no exception.
Feeling the need to temporarily escape, Baekhyun closed his eyes for a minute before slowly untangling himself from Chanyeol's arms. Softly, he leaned over and pressed his lips against Chanyeol’s cheek and carefully slid out of bed. Quietly, he left and tiptoed his way to his bedroom. After changing into the appropriate attire, Baekhyun made his way across the silent house and left through the back door.
He dipped himself in the ocean almost immediately. Spending seconds underwater, Baekhyun let out his frustration by blowing furious bubbles that roughly surfaced up on top, disturbing the water’s calm. The water was cold, but once the ticking minutes passed, Baekhyun wasn’t as bothered. He figured that he had become too numb to feel anything.
When he had flung himself into the ocean’s arms, there was only a small ray of light coming from the horizon. Paranoid of Chanyeol bursting out and yelling at him that Death was just waiting to pull him out with the tide, Baekhyun made sure to keep close to shore.
Once the sun began to rise, Baekhyun decided that it was time to get out. Immediately after coming out of the water, he was hit with a gust of wind, creating goose bumps on his body and forcing him to run back to the place where he had placed his towel.
As he sat watching the slow rise, time was lost in Baekhyun's world. The more he sank into his thoughts, the less relevant everything around him became. Slowly, his thoughts began to drift to the very subject that had caused him to leave the house in the first place.
Baekhyun wondered how the giant would react if he spoke of his real identity. Unconsciously, Baekhyun began to list reasons why Chanyeol might overlook everything.
He was Byun Baekhyun, successor of the enterprise created nearly three generations ago. For a second, Baekhyun wondered if Chanyeol could see an advantage to that. He had money if Chanyeol ever needed it.
Unknown to the sleeping giant at the moment, Baekhyun could practically create a revolutionary piece of technology with the parts of an old toaster. Math was easy to him. Baekhyun had no issues comprehending the most complex theories and concepts. If a zombie apocalypse were to happen, Baekhyun would be golden because he’d either create the world’s most foolproof bunker, or better yet, find the cure.
Once he realized that he was suddenly listing the positive things about himself as if he was trying to sell himself off like a piece of property, Baekhyun stopped himself. It was true in fact that, if anything, he was a “prime catch” for anybody to have. He had his uses and he had money. He had things that Chanyeol might end up liking to a point that’d he’d decide to keep their relationship going in turn for help either financially or corporately.
But in the end, Baekhyun didn't want that. He didn't want to be used, especially not by someone who made him happier than he'd ever been.
Too in depth in his thoughts, Baekhyun jolted when he felt someone pulled away the damp towel that he had been clinging to and wrap a dry one around his body from behind him. Grasping it, Baekhyun shivered, unaware of how cold he actually was from the morning air.
Chanyeol sat down on the sand behind Baekhyun and pulled him in closer. Baekhyun, in turn, lied back and nestled himself against Chanyeol's chest. When he looked up and saw Chanyeol's tired face looking down at him.
“Why're you up so early?”
Scoffing, Chanyeol looked away. “I should ask you that, Baekhyun.”
Looking back at the sunrise, Baekhyun sighed. “I wanted to think about some stuff.”
“You couldn't do that back inside the house?” Chanyeol mumbled. “Preferably in bed where it's warm and comfortable?”
“You sleep naked. Thinking’s not easy, stupid.” Baekhyun grumbled, wriggling around as he tried to fit himself perfectly against the giant.
In response, Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “Did you go for a swim?”
“Are you blind, sir? Because if you are, I’ll tell you that my hair’s crispy and it’s wet.” Before Chanyeol could make a remark, Baekhyun cut the lecture. “I didn’t go that far. I thought of you so I only went out as far as my toes could reach the bottom without my eyes going under.”
“The sun wasn’t out yet, was it?” Chanyeol asked in a form of a demanding and hallow question.
“Technically, it was.”
“Technically doesn’t cut it,” Chanyeol said.
Sitting up and leaning off of Chanyeol, Baekhyun moved around. He left the spot in between Chanyeol’s legs despite the tired effort Chanyeol tried to make in keeping him still. In the end, Chanyeol found himself sitting face to face with Baekhyun, even though he liked their previous position much better.
“Did you know that you get your best ideas in the shower?” Baekhyun asked, leaning in and cocking his head.
Even though he knew that the off tangent question was way beyond what they were discussing before, Chanyeol sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Now, why take a shower when I can just jump in the ocean?” Baekhyun asked in a way that made Chanyeol feel as though he was watching an infomercial.
“Maybe because you’re less likely to die in the shower?” Chanyeol argued.
“Fun fact!” Baekhyun lit. “Approximately sixteen thousand people die a year from falling in the shower. Less people die in the ocean than in the very bathrooms I get paid to clean.”
“Do I care about other people?” Chanyeol said. “I already have you to worry about. You need to stop slipping out of bed so early in the morning. Sometimes I worry that you rolled off the bed, cracked your head open on the floor, and died.”
“That would be unfortunate.”
“I know. You’d really bring down the property value of this house if you died in it.”
Baekhyun made an unpleasant face and kicked Chanyeol’s leg. “Actually, haunted house fanatics would—”
“I don’t care. Just don’t leave the bed so early in the morning.” Chanyeol snorted.
Baekhyun grinned. “I told you already. I wanted to think and having your limp cock pressed softly against my thigh wasn’t going to get me anywhere.”
Crossing his arms, Chanyeol tilted his head. “What’d you need to think about?”
Baekhyun hesitated for a moment, unsure of what he was going to do. He stared at Chanyeol before looking away and shrugging as he buried his feet in the sand. “Just some stuff. They weren’t important— Okay, well, they were, but I’m just— I don’t know…”
“If you don’t know then you can talk to me about it.” Chanyeol offered. “What’s it about?”
Baekhyun groaned and pulled the towel to his face, covering it. “I don’t know…” He said, muffling his voice with the material. “I don’t know what I wanna do.”
“Do with what?” Chanyeol asked, creasing his brows. Leaning forward, he tried to pull the towel off Baekhyun’s face. “Baek, are you still drunk?”
“No.” Baekhyun said as he moved away from Chanyeol’s hand. “That’d be a good excuse though.”
“Excuse for what?” Chanyeol frowned, growing cautiously curious. “Baekhyun.”
“I want to tell you something.” Baekhyun burst as he garnered enough courage to go ahead with his plan of confession.
He didn’t know how it’d all turn out. Despite how hard it was for him to step into the unknown when it came to Chanyeol, Baekhyun decided that confessing that he wanted to say something was a small, but significant step towards eventual progress.
“Tell me what exactly?” Chanyeol asked carefully.
Pursing his lips, Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a serious look. He fiddled with his fingers as if he was stalling, which made Chanyeol antsy. A lot more seconds passed by than what Baekhyun intended to pass. By the time he was ready to respond, he could see that Chanyeol is looking curiously frustrated.
“Well, first off, you know I like you, right?” Baekhyun asked with a smile. “Well, love, kind of— I think I already said it, but— I don’t know. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself— Wait, never mind. I’ll just say it this way.” Taking in a deep breath, he started once again. “You know I love you, right?”
There was no denying that having the smaller male say the words made his heart flip. Chanyeol nodded, ready to take in more of what Baekhyun had to say.
“You’re practically the epitome of my less-than-pathetic love life, actually.” Baekhyun said. “I mean, you’re pretty stubborn and you don’t even let me touch the car. You call my son fat and even gave him away once. Now that I think about it, why do I even love you—”
“Baekhyun, can you stop yourself before you end up saying that you don’t love me and deciding that you want to go back to being on a professional level only again?”
“Oops.” Baekhyun said with a sheepish grin. “Sorry— I get carried away when I talk about you! It just happens.”
“It just happens.” Chanyeol repeated.
Baekhyun nodded. “Just like how I want to jump you every time I see you. It just happens!” He laughed.
As Baekhyun laughed on, Chanyeol softened his features. “So, back to what you were saying?”
Immediately after Chanyeol brought back the subject, Baekhyun’s laughter slowly died. Looking down on the sand where his toes were sticking out under a pile, Baekhyun’s lips thinned. “Um, as I was saying, I love you— and not because of your body. I love you because you’re… I don’t know. You try to be an asshole, but I think that’s just your way of caring. You make me feel special for once and I like the way you hold me like I matter…”
“You do matter.” Chanyeol adamantly said.
Trapped into making complete eye contact, Baekhyun smiled. “Well, I was just making sure because I just needed to make sure that you know.” Twiddling with his thumbs for a moment, Baekhyun paused. “Now that you know how I feel, I need to tell you some other things…”
Chanyeol kept silent for a second. “Did you do something you weren’t supposed to?”
Baekhyun froze. “No— I mean, yeah, but I— well, no—”
“You’re stuttering. What’d you do?”
“It really has nothing to with—” When Baekhyun saw that Chanyeol wasn’t going to stop trailing a conversation that had nothing to do with his point, he sighed. “It’s irrelevant to what I want to say, but fine.” He paused. “You gave me a credit card and I was using Kyungsoo’s laptop a few days ago— Yeah, okay. I went on the internet. Anyways, I was just browsing some stuff and I wanted to buy a few things. Long story short, we may or may not get a black box on the front porch containing a few sex toys in a few days.”
After Baekhyun received an alarming thought, he waved his hand. “No, no, there’s nothing wrong with you! I just got them because—well, okay. Kris might come over again and you’re always busy when he’s here. I might crave your unavailable shaft so I thought I’d get a silicon replacement—”
“Alright, never mind I asked.” Chanyeol said shaking his head. “Get back on the subject again. You keep getting distracted.”
Baekhyun leaned forward and punched Chanyeol on the shoulder. “You keep getting me distracted. I buy a box of dildos and bullets and you make me talk about it! You’re the one getting me off topic. I still need to tell you some important things.”
“Then tell me before I distract you again.” Chanyeol scoffed.
Huffing, Baekhyun took in a breath and mentally prepared himself. “My family’s in the same robotics business that you’re in. You know that I’m good at math, science comes naturally to me, and memorization is never an issue...”
Sensing what Baekhyun was doing, Chanyeol locked his jaw. “Baekhyun—”
“And I know that I’m not good at this entire relationship thing and I read too many romance novels, but I really think that honesty’s important.” Baekhyun said in a shaking voice as if he was breaking his ground on his decision to come clean. “I was hoping that you wouldn’t be too mad, but I can’t control things like that.”
At this point, Chanyeol knew exactly what was going to happen. He shook his head, seeing how Baekhyun was struggling. “Baekhyun, you can stop…”
“But I need to tell you—”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care what you have to say.” Chanyeol muttered.
Baekhyun scrunched his brows. “What if it’s important? You need to know— It’s important for the both of us and this relationship—”
“No, it’s not,” Chanyeol argued. “Whatever it is, it won’t change anything.”
Baekhyun bit his lips. “What if it does?”
Slanting his shoulders, Baekhyun looked down. “How’re you so sure?”
“Because I know.” Chanyeol said simply. “I know that at the end of the day, you’re still mine. I know that you’ll still be annoying the life out of me during the day, but go right around and seduce me every night. Nothing’s going to change that.”
“You don’t really know that, you know…”
Chanyeol kept quiet.
In all retrospect, it would have been easier to let Baekhyun confess what he had to confess, which Chanyeol was convinced and adamantly sure was about the smaller male’s real identity. But in a way, Chanyeol didn’t want Baekhyun to say anything. He didn’t want the male to later find out that he knew all along and that the big “revelation” wasn’t so big and important after all.
Chanyeol wanted to be the one to reveal everything. He wanted to take the fault of lying. He wanted everything to come out through his mouth and through his point of view. There were things that he wanted to explain to Baekhyun himself such as his reasons and early suspicions that justified his actions.
If anyone was going to confess for lying, Chanyeol felt like he should be the one.
“Don’t worry about it.” Chanyeol finally said. “Just don’t worry about it.”
“Someday, I’ll have to tell you, Yeol.” Baekhyun mumbled.
Chanyeol shrugged. “Then let that ‘someday’ come another day.”
Losing all the courage he had before, Baekhyun complied and nodded. “Alright.”
After studying Baekhyun’s face for a while, Chanyeol got on his knees and pushed himself off the ground. Extending a hand, he tilted his head, indicating that he wanted Baekhyun to take it. “Come on. We’re going back inside.”
“My butt is cold, Yeol.” Baekhyun said as he took Chanyeol’s hand.
“Once we get inside, I’ll warm it. Now, come on.” Chanyeol replied, pulling Baekhyun back up. “We have to go fix breakfast this morning.”
Baekhyun groaned as he trudged past Chanyeol and started walking back to the house. “Why do we have to do it?”
Walking right beside the grumbling male, Chanyeol scoffed as he draped an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder, pulling him in closer against him. “Because you’re the idiot who thought that drinking last night was a good idea, which consequently knocked out the person I pay weekly to cook us food. That’s why, my stupid honey.”
“But we were playing a game…” Baekhyun said quietly, trying to justify himself.
With a small curve forcing on the corner of his lips, Chanyeol gave Baekhyun a grin. “If you like games so much, we can play some with those things you ordered on my card.”
“That’d be fun.” Baekhyun said, grinning up at him.
“Yes, it would.”