Not a day since second year had Kyungsoo never thought of the words “I want to die” at least once between dawn and dusk. It was always in the back of his mind, sometimes dangerously hanging from the tip of his tongue, threatening to wedge its ugly presence in the form of a verbal cry. Mild depression was such a common occurrence that he eventually learned how to weather through the seasonal storms.
But they’d never go away, and unlike those who suffered from their demons with no idea as to where they came from, Kyungsoo was another matter. He knew exactly why he felt like so and what was the cause, but the problem was he had no power to stop it.
Kyungsoo knew he’d been lost since the start of high school. With no direction on where to head, he fell back to listening to his parents’ every demand, wish, and whim. Being that his father was a lawyer, he was expected to follow in his footsteps. As a hard man who was often distant even with his own family, there was a lack of consideration for Kyungsoo’s own thoughts and feelings on the matter. Previously, they had fought so much over the future, that eventually, Kyungsoo gave up. If he couldn’t have the future, then he’d have the present.
Having no love for Law but with the acceptance of striding towards a future on the matter, it always felt like a burden, and that was the cause of it all. Pressure to be who he wasn’t, expectations to achieve goals that weren’t his, and the lacking ability to make a decision of what he wanted for himself.
In essence, he had no control over his own life, and though he wanted to take it all for himself, he didn’t know how or which direction to turn to. It was both easier to listen to the vision of others and walk in sad reluctance down the path predestined.
This lacking of control, his therapist once suggested, could be the explanation for his compulsive need to always have the upperhand in situations he deemed conquerable. It pertained to his love for Baekhyun, and the ego-driven pride in being head of student council. It all had to do with power that replaced the lack thereof within his private life.
But the darkness that encroached him was beginning to disperse, slowly like the ceasing tide, and it had all to do with Jongin.
Though still bitter and (goddamn) pissed about the situation, he had grown accustomed to the male’s silent presence in the boxing room. Despite the fact that he could easily change over to a different gym, Kyungsoo kept his regular visits, something Jongin had nothing negative to say towards.
Their relationship was jagged, but oddly intact. Words were rare except for the casual and brief advice on how to strike the bag. On most evenings when they’d see one another, Jongin would leave early to go to work. Other times, it was Kyungsoo who left first. Only on one occasion did they ever stop at the same time to announce a haste truce to leave together.
They walked to the bath house one particular night. Jongin had a shift and the place was something Kyungsoo passed many times on his own way home. The street lights were beginning to flicker on with every minute passing and Kyungsoo fixed the cap on his head, giving the front a slight tug as to cover his face. His bag was carried properly on his back, one strap for each shoulder unlike Jongin who swung his strap across his chest.
Words rarely passed between them. The crickets filled the silence as well as the local night life that was beginning to emerge with the dying of the sun. Kyungsoo looked over and watched as Jongin kept his eyes straight ahead as though his existence was nothing but the mere passing of a light breeze. Noticeable, but not enough to boggle one’s conscious awareness.
It was a miracle, however. Progress, if anything.
Kyungsoo couldn’t decide whether it was progress or another descending step to the bottom. Baekhyun was gone, and he knew that it was lonely to be by himself. With Jongin just inches from him, it was a wonder how they hadn’t been arguing for some time at all.
After the fight, things simmered down to a tolerable heat between them. The snide comments ceased but never diminished. Jongin kept out of his way fairly enough. It was beginning to remind Kyungsoo of coevolution.
Taking out his cell phone, Kyungsoo checked the time despite the fact he had just checked minutes before they left the gym. He figured he needed something to occupy him. Though the silence was neither tense nor electrified, it was still too quiet for his liking. However, looking at his blank screen did nothing but bring back thoughts of utter depression, so he put it away.
Jongin never pried much. He criticized and, sometimes it made Kyungsoo wonder if the soccer captain did anything else besides to think of ways to antagonize him. Turning his attention on the street, the president continued to walk beside the athlete in the silence that was left untouched until broken by the captain’s deep voice, clearing his throat.
“You haven’t been talking to Baekhyun since the trip, have you?”
The question came out of nowhere, but Kyungsoo wasn’t the least bit surprised by his interest. Not that he wasn’t used to the way the soccer player liked to pry into his personal life, but Baekhyun was just something so inevitable in all aspects whether it was a conversation or a fleeting thought.
Looking up at the sky, Kyungsoo heaved a sigh off his heavy chest. He felt constricted in a world so infinite in space. It was ironic.
“Why? Has that lanky piece of shit friend of yours been asking?” Kyungsoo muttered in response, avoiding to answer the question in a direct manner.
“There’s nothing wrong with him wanting his boyfriend to be happy.” Jongin watched as Kyungsoo’s face turned sour. “Wanting to find a way to fix the problems you have with Baekhyun is Park’s way of—”
“His way of what?” Kyungsoo interrupted. “His way of sticking his nose in everything? Like you? Not surprising. I suppose people tend to befriend others who reflect habits similar to theirs. Annoying or not.”
Furrowing his brows, Jongin’s lips slipped into a thin line. “You have a strange way of insulting one person after another, but then again, I guess it’s not all that strange considering that’s just your disposition.”
Kyungsoo shrugged. “If it’s my disposition, then so it is. There’s no changing it.”
“Guess not,” Jongin replied. He quietly slipped his hands into his front pockets. He heard someone familiar call his name within a shop. Changing his expression, he waved and smiled as he passed the store.
Snorting, Kyungsoo cocked his head once they were out of sight from Jongin’s acquaintance. “Funny how you have the audacity to call me fake like a porcelain doll when you’re just about the same.”
For once, Jongin chuckled, but not so much in humor. “We’re not the same, Kyungsoo. Fact of the matter is, you’re manipulative. On the other hand, I have no interest in keeping relations with you, so that’s why I don’t bother keeping pretenses when we’re together. That old man was my father’s friend. Known him all my life. He’s almost like a second father. If I hadn’t waved, he might’ve thought something was wrong.”
“Circumstances tend to be irrelevant,” Kyungsoo argued. “Regardless of, the mere fact that you would rather have him think that you’re fine when, clearly, you’re not is something that’s considered to be a little deceiving.”
“You would know all about that, wouldn’t you? Pretending like you have your head above water when you already drowned in front of their blind eyes.” Running a hand through his hair, Jongin sucked in a breath. He looked over at Kyungsoo whose expression was blank but “Enough of this. You never answered my question about Baekhyun.”
“Because you didn’t need an answer. I haven’t talked to him since he decided to choose Park over our friendship.”
“He didn’t choose between anything.”
“No, he did… He knew it, too. Baekhyun’s not stupid.”
Taking a break of silence for a second, Jongin glanced at the male beside him. “No, what you did was push him away because you couldn’t stand the way he felt about Chanyeol. We’ve discussed this before, Kyungsoo. You forced him out.”
“Because he wanted us both!” Kyungsoo snapped. “You can’t walk in the north and south direction at the same time, and Baekhyun knew what he was doing when he decided he’d rather love him than...than—”
Clenching his fists, Kyungsoo folded his arms tightly. The burning feeling in his chest was beginning to char him. “Him. It suddenly became all about him... The day he showed his stupid face, Baekhyun’s been nothing more than a deer in headlights. I should’ve done something. I saw the signs. If I would’ve just…”
“What could you have done?” Jongin asked, head cocked. “One way or another, Chanyeol would’ve found a way to get close to him.”
“I would’ve tried to place his interest elsewhere,” Kyungsoo said. “There’s a good population of girls in our year. I could’ve gotten that stupid jock to wag his tail off at another bitch.”
“I don’t think so.” Jongin looked around them. They were nearing the bath house. “Chanyeol isn't that kind of guy.”
“You’d be amazed with what mounds of fat on a chest can do.”
“Then it sounds like you don’t know the person you hate very well.”
Sensing the tone of anger in Jongin’s voice, Kyungsoo grinned. “I know him well enough.”
“Not enough if Baekhyun’s in love with him and you can’t even understand why,” the soccer captain jabbed. It took Kyungsoo by surprise and the council president stopped walking. “Not everything’s in black and white, Kyungsoo. Same with Park. You can talk about how you could’ve done this or that, but at the end of the day, Chanyeol’s there.”
“So what does that make him?” Kyungsoo muttered. “The better man?”
Jongin left the question hanging for a minute as they approached the bath house just meters away. Kyungsoo returned his gaze at the road, face sullen, but held the traces of bittersweet hurt. “No. Both of you are two different chapters in Baekhyun’s life, and unfortunately for you, your chapter’s the one written months ago. Chanyeol’s the next. But you’re still part of the same story, the same book. There’s no such thing as a better man between you two, because your importance matters to Baekhyun whether you were written on page one or page fifty. It’s all the same. The only difference is the page number—time. And right now, it’s Chanyeol’s.”
They stopped in front of the building. For a split second, “good-bye” almost slipped past Kyungsoo’s lips until he realized what a god-awful sentimental fuck that would’ve made him in front of someone who didn’t bear any close relations to him. He nodded instead, lips frowning as Jongin didn’t return the gesture.
“This was nice,” Jongin offered as a parting statement.
“Hn.” The corner of Kyungsoo’s lips twitched, but his overall appearance never changed. He began going on, up the road but paused when he heard a faint “Good-night” said from behind. Turning his head, Kyungsoo opened his mouth but decided against reciprocating. He withdrew eye contact and walked the rest of the way home.
There was a home game the following Friday, and after many subtle hints dropped, Baekhyun eventually gave Chanyeol the shrug he so much desired, agreeing nonverbally to the game. When Baekhyun approached the gymnasium where the game was held, he looked back at the diminishing sun before turning his attention to Kyungsoo who sat at the front of the door entrance, manning the entry.
Holding tightly to the money in his front pocket, Baekhyun tightened his jaw and walked forward to join the line. It was odd to him how he felt so nervous to be face to face with someone he’d known for so long. Everything was so far off its axis, it dragged his gut on the ground, making him feel terrible.
The line dwindled faster than he thought it would, and before the brunet knew, two dark eyes turned their attention on him. Stepping to the table, Baekhyun looked down and gave a smile, one too small to be considered as a confident one. He pulled his money for entry out on the table, pushing it to Kyungsoo who looked and took the money sharply. “One for student.”
The president’s face was cold and without expression. “Student identification card, please.”
Taken aback, Baekhyun frowned. “Kyungsoo.”
“You’re not an exception, Baekhyun. You’re just another one of them,” Kyungsoo said evenly as he pursed his lips. His hands then folded together. “Now, identification.”
Tightening his jaw, Baekhyun nodded, having no desire to cause a scene with people standing behind him. He reached behind for his wallet. Routinely, he slipped his fingers in the first tiny slots, but when Baekhyun couldn’t feel his identification card, he had no choice but to search every pocket.
Kyungsoo’s face was unamused as he feigned a smile to the man behind Baekhyun and crooked his fingers, motioning him on the side where he made the trade for entry and put the money in the student council’s metal box. Then he turned his attention back to Baekhyun who was beginning to look frustrated.
Knowing that the latter currently had no form of identification in his possession at the moment, Kyungsoo gave a small shrug. “I’m sorry.”
Baekhyun looked warily at him. “Kyungsoo, I—” His expression tightened. “I need to get in there.”
“As does everyone behind you,” the student body president said, quickly to dismiss the reason. “Move aside, Baekhyun. I need your I.D and you don’t have it.”
“You’re holding the line.”
Drawing back, Baekhyun gave him a fleeting look of anger and antagonized feelings before leaving the line, walking briskly past the other individuals present.
Several things passed his mind. The first thought was to go home and give Chanyeol an excuse for his lack of attendance. It would, in a way, lead to emotions being slightly tenderized. There would’ve been no possible way for him to confess to the athlete that part of the reason for missing the game was due to Kyungsoo’s severely unfair treatment. Baekhyun knew it was unfair. He watched for a minute after he stepped aside and saw Kyungsoo admit two students without asking for verification.
As he walked to the bus stop, he thought of his second choice. To hurry home and retrieve his card, it’d take roughly twenty minutes, depending on the bus’ commitment to being on time. Then from the house, it would be easier and faster to ride his bicycle back to school grounds. Granted that he’d miss a large amount of game time, it was better than having to deal with concocting a believable excuse for missing the game without having to drag in Kyungsoo’s name.
Public transportation was something Baekhyun was on the fence about. It was both useful and convenient. He waited for thirty minutes for the next bus to arrive, and it took another ten to reach the stop near his house. When he checked his phone, Chanyeol had sent two short text messages. One was sent before the official game started telling the brunette that he was keeping him to his word. The second seemed like it was sent after first quarter, asking where he was sitting.
”I don’t see you anywhere? Where’re you hiding?”
Baekhyun didn’t reply to either, desiring to keep Chanyeol under the pretense that he was just blocked by the crowd from his sight. Bitter disappointment would flood the giant without a doubt, and Baekhyun didn’t want to be burdened with yet another guilt.
He quickly found his student identification card, lodged in a folder on his desk, and went back out his house. His mother wondered why he was back so early, almost worried something had gone wrong, but Baekhyun assured her that everything was alright. In the back of his mind, he knew she was thinking about Chanyeol.
Out back, he dislodged his bicycle from the side of his house. It was dusty, having been unused for quite some time. The tires, in his opinion, were still good enough to use.
The sun was almost gone, leaving behind a bleak shade of orange. The air felt nice against his face, cooling him of the anger set off by Kyungsoo’s harsh and biased treatment.
On the way down a busy street, Baekhyun caught sight of a digital clock and tightened his jaw when it dawned on him that he had already missed about forty-five minutes of the game. In his pocket, his cell phone was silent, signaling that Chanyeol was most likely on the court (though, even if he was benched, he wouldn’t be able to use his phone at all). Still, Baekhyun had to urge to reassure him that he’d be present, despite already missing half of it.
The school wasn’t too far off, but the route made the journey longer. The streets were busy and there were many people he had to weave around in as well as vehicles.
There was a second when he questioned his actions. It seemed ridiculous to go to such lengths just to watch a game with amateur players and underpaid referees, but he decided that it wasn’t the game, but rather the tall player who he was dating. It was more or less of the reason why.
After turning one corner from the last active street that night, Baekhyun could see the school on the horizon, but the hopeful excitement within him was quickly deflated like the back wheel of his bicycle.
The entire situation held a parallelistic similarity to movies he had seen in the past. Baekhyun’s balance wobbled until he was able to get a foot on the ground. Once the bicycle ceased to move, he stayed still, silent on the scene trying to figure out what the next move would be.
Baekhyun glanced at his phone and hoped that the game was being dragged out for as long as possible. He felt stupid having to walk with a deflated bike that he contemplated leaving it on the side of the street and pick it up the next day, but he chose against it.
When he stepped back on school property, he had the feeling that the game was already over. Parents and students were moving past him. Some stood in their groups to confer about the finished game. From the look of it, it seemed like his school won that night. Maybe that’d keep Chanyeol content for a while and forget about his absentee boyfriend.
Once his bike was securely stationed against a wall, Baekhyun walked toward the gymnasium, less crowded than the front of the school gates, and spotted Kyungsoo smiling and speaking to several parents before bidding them all farewell. In the brunet’s mind, he felt the want to become physical with the male, to hit him and do everything possible to inflict injury for what had happened, but then he remembered it was also his fault for disregarding his card’s importance. Kyungsoo had been unfair, but he was the one who was careless.
Before Baekhyun could pretend his gaze was settled on another being, Kyungsoo met his eyes and both froze. Baekhyun’s legs continued to walk to him despite the feeling within himself that told him to walk in the other direction. As the distance closed, Kyungsoo began standing straighter, chest proudly out with his expression as blank and untelling as ever.
“You’re back.” Crossing his arms, Kyungsoo raised a brow. “Did you actually go home to get your card?”
Baekhyun’s hands turned into fists. It was all that Kyungsoo needed.
He laughed. “You should’ve known you wouldn’t have made it back in time, Baekhyun. The bus schedule and the fact that it takes thirty minutes to go back and forth should’ve told you that it wasn’t worth the try.”
“And what’s wrong with that? Trying?” Baekhyun said in a low voice. “At least I did.”
Discontent with the male’s response to his pittance, Kyungsoo took a step forward. “What’s wrong with it? It’s wasted energy for the same result you’d get if you would’ve went home and stayed there.”
“Maybe I wouldn’t have had to make a choice if you just—” Baekhyun stopped. He held his tongue, unwilling to put all the blame on the man in front of him. “Nevermind.”
“Hn.” Glancing around them, Kyungsoo made the decision to reach out and take Baekhyun by the wrist. “Come with me.”
“Because you and I need to talk.”
When Baekhyun made no sign or sound to object, Kyungsoo gradually moved his hand from the brunet’s wrist to his open palm. It seemed so intimate despite their distant relationship.
He walked them behind the gymnasium lit only by a nearby lamp post. Kyungsoo let go when he had to. Self-expectation told him to speak first, but Baekhyun took the chance for himself.
“You made me miss his game on purpose…” Kyungsoo took no verbal action to dispute the notion. “And you haven’t talked to me since we got back a month and a half ago. What the hell did I do wrong?”
“What you did wrong are the things you fucking didn’t do,” Kyungsoo said harshly. “You told me it was nothing. Remember? When he first came into the picture, I asked you about him and you said that you wouldn’t get involved with someone like him.”
Baekhyun stepped back, leaning against the wall from behind. “Things happen,” he said quietly. “How am I supposed to explain any of this when it’s all—”
“What, natural?” Kyungsoo’s lips tightened together, forming a sharp line. He took a moment before speaking again. “You know it’s not going to work out. The only constant you needed was me. He’s not going to stick very long, Baekhyun, and judging by the anonymous messages that’ve been put in the complaint box these past few weeks, neither is your safety if you two keep beating around the fucking bush about your relationship. People are rather pissed off by the fact that you two haven’t had the decency to openly tell others.”
“So, is that why you’ve been treating me like a piece of shit? Is this punishment like I need to be trained to keep away from Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked, hands clenched by his side. “I don’t think it’s any of anyone’s business whether we announce it to the entire school or not. Why should I care about them?”
“Simply because you should,” Kyungsoo hissed. “Because it’s how they see you.”
“I don’t care for that like you do!” Baekhyun bit his bottom lip when he realized he had raised his voice. “Everything’s just an excuse, isn’t it? You don’t care about them. You’re putting up a show for me because you don’t like Chanyeol. Why do you dislike him so much? You don’t even know him, Soo… He’s not what you think he is. He actually makes me happy and...” His voice drifted as he hung his head. “Kyungsoo, I think I’m in love with him.”
The insects around them filled in the silence left behind by Kyungsoo’s inability to respond. It took moments for Baekhyun to hear a soft, dry laugh from the male in front of him. When he raised his head, Kyungsoo was so stricken by his words that he made a slip. His eyes broke through the wall that kept him in his mask, showing Baekhyun the hurt that lied within.
“Why do you love him?” Kyungsoo angrily asked, though his voice broke half-way. “Is this love for him or love for the attention? I keep telling you that it’s not going to end like a damn fairytale—”
“Has it ever occured to you that I might want to try—”
“Why do you fucking bother when you know you’re not going to last!”
“Because he loves me enough that I want to—”
“Oh, what the fuck do you know about love!?” Kyungsoo took a step away from the brunet, his hand on his forehead, pushing his hair back in frustration. “It’s a fucking joke. It’s nothing but a goddamn fantasy for high schoolers like him. It’s not real—”
“It was real when I loved you!” Baekhyun said, lashing out. He was shaking. “Without a doubt, I loved you, Kyungsoo, and don’t tell me you believe that it doesn’t exist because what would that say about you? You’d be saying that you never loved me.”
“I loved you more than you know!” Kyungsoo yelled. His chest was heaving. He felt as though he was being liberated of everything that had been building up within him. “You were everything, and yet, you were the one who ended it.”
The mere mentioning of the break up had Baekhyun breathless as he was beginning to find it difficult to breathe. Fists hadn’t been thrown around, but he could tell they were both emotionally exhausted. Still, there was still a blaze burning within both.
“Just because we didn’t last at all, it doesn’t mean that it can’t with Chanyeol—”
“Stop kidding yourself, Baekhyun… Everything ends somehow. It’ll fall apart like we did. Don’t talk to me about forever when you were the one who brought the hammer down on ours.”
“But it might be different with him.” Baekhyun looked down at his hands. “And I want to know if it is.”
“If the odds were against us, then how much of a favor do you think you two have?” Kyungsoo asked, almost chiding in mockery. “Something is bound to happen… He’s too different.”
“But he tries, and that’s something you never did when we were falling apart—”
Kyungsoo’s eyes flared. “How can you say that when I—”
Jostled, Kyungsoo shut his lips when he looked over and watched as the man of the hour started walking towards them with his arm in the air. Baekhyun felt relieved when Chanyeol came into view, feeling the urge to run to him; however, he kept his place and thought against it when he saw Kyungsoo’s stiff body language.
Smiling faintly at the athlete, Baekhyun waved back. “Hey… You look like you’re ready to go home. Tired?”
“I am,” Chanyeol said, laughing as he came to a stop. He gave a small wave to the student body president. “Hi, Kyungsoo.” Though he received no response, the giant continued to smile as he gently moved to take hold of Baekhyun’s hand. “Thanks for your hard work tonight. The basketball team really appreciated it.”
Without another word, Kyungsoo turned on his heel and left, heading to the school’s south entrance. He had too many things left to say, but finally found restraint that kept him from saying words he’d regret in time.
Chanyeol sighed, and Baekhyun began moving them away from the building’s side and towards the main gate where his bike was residing. As they walked, the brunet could feel the basketball player’s hold grip and then ungrip as though he realized what he was doing.
When he saw the bicycle where he had stationed it, Baekhyun slipped his fingers from Chanyeol’s hand and gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s alright. I’m just going to take the bike home.”
Raising his brows, Chanyeol was quick to offer his help. “I can take it!” he said, grabbing the bicycle from Baekhyun’s hands. “I’d feel kind of bad if I let you wheel it around by yourself, anyways.”
“Chanyeol, it has a flat tire,” Baekhyun said, pulling the bike towards him.
“Then all the more reason for me to take it,” the giant refuted. Gently, he pried the brunet’s fingers off one by one before hoisting the bike off the ground. “If we run to the bus stop, my arm should be fine.”
Baekhyun was given no chance to argue about the matter. Chanyeol slipped their hands together again and Baekhyun gave in, jogging side by side with him.
As they began to slow down along the sidewalk, Chanyeol hummed, gently swinging their arms together as if to lift the mood. When he caught Baekhyun watching him, he only grinned. “What?”
“Nothing.” Baekhyun shrugged, looking off in another direction. “Good job on the win.”
Chanyeol hesitated, but he nodded. “Thanks.” He said nothing more once they reached the stop and waited for a few minutes for the bus to arrive. “It was a tough game.”
“It was.” Baekhyun kept his eyes away as Chanyeol went to the front to settle his bicycle on the bus’ front rack. He waited for him to finish before getting on. Taking a seat near the window, he motioned for Chanyeol to join him quickly after setting his duffle bag on the floor.
“So, is this like an impromptu thing to go to my house?”
There was no real viable reason for Baekhyun to visit so late. It was approaching nine, but something in him wanted the time together. Maybe it was guilt.
“That’s fine, right?”
“It always is!”
Chanyeol said it so happily, but Baekhyun felt something was slightly off. He leaned his elbow against the window and pushed his hair back. “Are you okay?”
“Hm?” Slanting his lips, Chanyeol nodded. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
“From the game.”
As hard as he tried, Baekhyun couldn’t find the exact reason why Chanyeol was gradually being more distant with every reply. He tried to change the subject, but the athlete interrupted his thoughts.
“What’d you think about the three-pointer I shot in the second half? The coach was really happy about that. I think the student section went pretty crazy, too. Did you see me?”
A pang of regret hit Baekhyun hard as he tried to muster a smile. He was presented with two options, and he decided to pretend with the desire to keep things calm and okay.
“It was impressive,” he said, moving pieces of Chanyeol’s hair away from his face. “It made me pretty proud.”
Chanyeol gave him a faint smile that quickly died as he looked down. “You weren’t at the game, were you?”
Immediately, Baekhyun’s face dropped. “What?”
Heaving a sigh, Chanyeol leaned back in his seat. “I didn’t play in the second half,” he said quietly. Upon seeing Baekhyun’s face, he reached over and tried to fix the atmosphere by pinching his cheek. “It’s okay to tell me you weren’t there...”
“I thought it would’ve been better if you were under the impression that I was,” Baekhyun muttered under his breath.
Shaking his head, Chanyeol frowned. “I’d rather have you tell me the truth than lie about it, honestly. Besides, it’s not the last game… I also figured by your flat-tired bike that something might’ve happened.”
“Right…” Baekhyun leaned over, placing his forehead on Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault,” Chanyeol said, running his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair softly. He didn’t say anything for a minute, but then, he touched the brunet’s hand, tracing the lines of his palm. “Your hands are really soft.”
“I love them almost as much as I love you, but I can’t really just love one part of you when I love you as a whole, you know. That’d be stupid...” Chanyeol said quietly under his breath. “And I’m not joking about that.”
Baekhyun kept quiet as the words sank in. Then he looked up at Chanyeol, wondering if there were more things left he wanted to say, but the way the giant smiled was all too distracting.
He let himself believe in the lie beneath that smile and closed his eyes, listening to the giant’s quiet hums.