exobubz (exobubz) wrote,
exobubz
exobubz

No Hormones

NI: No Hormones
[Twitter drabble via @BaekyeolKr]
genre: fluff
Word count: short
Summary: Baekhyun has pregnant people needs.



Chanyeol let's have sex.

Baekhyun.

What do you want to play with? I just ordered a new vibrator! I remembered that just now...

Baek--

I need your fingers tonight. I might need four but we don't have enough lube for that, I don't think.

Baekhyun, no.

What.

I said no.

Why not? Are you tired?

No.

Then is it because--

You're pregnant? Yes. 6 and 1/2 months along? Yes.

Do you not like my baby bump?

What?

You don't like it how it feels on you?

No that's not what I'm--

Sex during pregnancy is possible, too?

I know that.

They had preggo sex in Knocked Up so why can't we...

You know why.

...

Why're you giving me that face?

I'm unsatisfied with you. This isn't going to work out so I'm going to go to the bathroom and call Luhan.

You're going to call in the maid.

If the maid's okay with lending me his warm stick then yeah.

Baekhyun, come here.

Can't.

He won't be interested. It's 2 in the afternoon.

Great. He loves having afternoon sex, anyways.

Then he's probably spending that event with Sehun.

...

Now, come here. I'll massage you.

Did you know that it's perfectly fine for pregnant people to crave sex?

Yes.

I've read the books, Chanyeol. I just want to let you know.

You always wanna let me know.

I think it's my duty as your future mate.

Uh huh.

So I don't understand why you can't just lie there and let me do what I want.

Because I can't.

What do you mean you can't?

Baek--

Are you tired?

...yes--

Of me..

What...

You're tired of me?

No.

Then—

Honey, we've had sex for four consecutive days. Your sex drive may be soaring but I need a little break, okay? I can't keep up.

Oh...

Yeah.

Then I should go get someone to--

No. Just because I'm tired doesn't mean you're allowed to find another victim.

I need help. I can't reach back there, you know.

If it's oral that you need, then I can do that.

But--

Oral is just as good as the package.

In theory, but in practice, I like the naked snake better.

Of course.

Especially yours.

Uh huh.

The only thing I hate about it is its powers.

What powers...

It's baby making powers.

It takes two to tango, idiot.

But it only takes one dick to ruin my perfectly shaped figure, okay.

And who sat on that dick? You did.

Who busted a nut? You did.

Is it really my fault I planted seeds on fertile soil?

You planted seeds on soil that wasn't yours to say whether or not trees were wanted.

Then maybe your little soil farm shouldn't have been so enticing for seed growth.

Maybe you could've just worn plastic, you giant ass twat.

Did you know--

Stop mocking me--

That plastic is bad for the environment?

The environment outside? Yes. In my body? No.

Maybe you should've gotten birth control then, sprout.

I asked you! But you were like, "what do you need those for? You'll never get pregnant.”

I wasn't being serious.

Well, I thought you were just being a cheapskate which is lame. I'm marrying a millionaire who hates spending money.

What're you even talking about?

"No, Baekhyun, birth control's too much. Condoms are too much. If you don't want kids now, I can just pull out."

I never said any of that.

Are you implying pregnant individuals are liars now?

No I'm just saying--

Whatever, sir! It doesn't matter. You've created a child in me and now I'm horny almost all the time but you won't deal with it.

...

Now, if you're done massaging my feet I'm going to go and play with myself.

Baekhyun.

I always want some-

Baekhyun, stop

What.

Fine.

Fine what?

Come here and we'll do it. We'll have to be slow about it or else I might hurt you.

You've never hurt me before.

I'm not even going to remind you around the time you knocked a hole in the wall because I dropped you.

That was--

And the time we accidentally rolled off that bed.

See, I wasn't really--

AND the time I accidentally gagged you.

Correction, you came in my throat and that's why I gagged.

Exactly. I'm dangerous and you're pregnant.

Stop trying to make yourself look less appealing. You're only making yourself seem hotter.

Are you--

Yes, I'm turned on so what so you want me to do first? Lie on the bed?

Uh--

One, two, three, Mr Park.

Sure--

Too late. You waited too long.

What.

I'm going to go find something to eat.

I already took my shirt off.

That's okay. It's hot anyways.

Are you playing with me?

No, I'm hungry.

You said you were horny.

I lied. I stopped being horny when I started getting hungry.

You made me prepare myself just to quit on me.

Yeah. Food over sex. Then sex after 6 hours later, preferably after I go to the bathroom.

You're so--

Fat.

Cute.

Oh... Well thank you I gu--

But you're really a pain sometimes.

So are you...

But I love you anyways, so as long as you know that--

Of course I do.

Do you?

Uh, you won't let me swim without floaties now. Yes. I do know.

Only because--

For the safety of me and the baby, I know I know. I got the same speech yesterday.

I'm serious though, okay.

...

You're the only thing worth protecting in this world. You and our kid. I don't want you floating off by accident .

Will that ever happen?

Maybe. I don't want to find out.

Okay well, here.

A kiss on the cheek?

Like it?

Lips are better.

Well, then here.

...

Happy?

Sure.

Sorry for bothering you for sex again.

You don't have to apolo--

I'll master the art of ejaculating without hands, okay. For you.

For me.

For you, yes.

...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to raid the kitchen because your fiancé is a whale. OOoooOwhaaa

You're not a whale.

Not according to my size.

Baek--

Bye! Clean up the room. I thinks Nugget peed in the corner over there.

Seriously.

Love you.

I--

Nom nom nom you know bc I have to eat for two people. I'll see you later

.
.
.

Why am I in love with him.

Tags: chanbaek, drabble, mpreg, not intended: no hormones
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