Adventures of SeNugs 3: Nugget to the Rescue
[ Chapter Audio ]
We got back from the zoo. I forgot which lap I fell asleep on. I think I slept on flower boy until he decided to make a mountain in his pants. So I got off that ride and went to Kyungsoo mama. Fat lips doesn't snore like tall man. I don't know why Kyungsoo mama stared at him for a long time. I think Kyungsoo mama wants to keel fat lips too. I'm feefty-feefty because I kind of like fat lips. Without him, I would have the fattest lips in the house.
Anyways we went home and I was waiting for dad to come out, but flower boy picked me up and took me in. Curse him. I wish for his hands to fall off. Flower boy with no hands. I will start a petition online tomorrow. No hands for the gardener means tall man will fire him because he has no hands.
Dad came in with tall man. He does that a lot. He goes in with tall man. He comes out with tall man. Where do they go!? I want to know. I tried to show dad narnia, but flower boy covered it. It's always flower boy.
Tall man got mad at me because I peed on his floor. He doesn't understand. I am a dog. I have the bladdur the size of a light bolb. I saw a light bolb in one of my picture books. Dad gave me picture books. He says I need to be a smart dog if I want a girlfren. I don't want a girlfren dad. I want you. I want you and I want tall man dead.
While dad was cleaning my pee, tall man went away with lanky man, who I will now call uncle krees. There's a reason why he's uncle krees now. At the zoo, Kyungsoo mama kept saying his name. Krees Kyungsoo mama said. Krees. Krees. I think Kyungsoo mama doesn't like uncle krees very much. No one likes uncle krees. I like uncle krees. He's nice to dad, but dad's still mine.
I want uncle krees gone. I want tall man gone. I want Kreesyol gone. I want dadsoo.
I got off topic but you're going to forgive me because I'm only 4.
Tall man took me outside. Poop he said. Poop.
I couldn't poo. I didn't want him to see me make my poop. Only dad does. I wanted to poop. It was outside my butt but I was ashamed. I sat on the deck because I think sitting on the deck keeps my poopies in. Tall man got angry again. He's always angry. Why does he like dad but not me. Me and dad are a package. If you don't like me then you can't have dad.
He picked me up, but i forgot my wee was full of pee again so I peed. Dad said if i need to pee then i have to pee outside. I was outside. So I peed. Tall man was in the way. It's not my fault. It's never my fault.
He took me back inside and I was a happy dog. I think I made tall man melt because he disappeared after that. Dad finished the brownees but I think he was flirting with fat lips. No fat lips. Don't. Kyungsoo mama should take fat lips away from dad and then come back and kiss dad and take dad from tall man. Then we can be dadsoonug.
Dad left and then Kyungsoo mama and everyone but unclee krees said bye. Is there a secret? I don't know. Uncle krees is confused. So am I. I tried to listen to the conversation but I'm not an adult. I'm only 4.
Sometimes I think our house is haunted because I hear creakies but then I think I'm special because I'm the only one who hears them.
Dad and tall man were gone for a long time. I was worried tall man was going to hit dad again. Sometimes when dad and I are in the shower, I see tiny bruises on his body. I think tall man's hitting dad with a tiny tiny stick. I will look for the stick later and hide it so that tall man will not use it against dad again.
Dad says they're kiss marks but I don't remember ever hurting dad whenever I kiss him. I must be a good kisser. Tall man is a bad kisser then. Learn from me tall man. You take your tongue and you lick dad like up and then down. If you're going to kiss my dad then do it so you don't hurt him.
Anyways, I started hearing dad crying again.
Oh, oh, ah, nghh
But to me and my trained ears I heard:
Oh (stop) oh (no!) ah (hhh!) Nghh(oee)
Dad was calling me for help!
I was on uncle krees' foot. Don't ask me. They are salty though if you want to know.
I went trotting to dad's room but he wasn't there! So i went to tall man's room. It's always tall man's room. How dare he imprison dad. I was going to kindly knock my presence against the wooden contraption, but flower boy came jogging over and took me away.
It's always flower boy.
I need to be my dad's knight.
It's always flower boy.
I will keel you.